Conciseness
Conciseness means as simply as possible.
Wordiness: adding in unnecessary phrases that do not add any meaning to the message your sentences
are conveying.
Use the most effective words (not necessarily the least words, instead use the best words to get the job
done).
Replace several vague words with more powerful and specific words.
Interrogate every word in a sentence.
Wordy: The teacher demonstrated some of the various ways and methods for cutting words from my
essay that I had written for class. (22 words)
Concise: The teacher demonstrated methods for cutting words from my essay. (10 words)
• Combine Sentences.
– Wordy: Ludwig's castles are an astounding marriage of beauty and madness. By his death, he had
commissioned three castles. (18 words)
– Concise: Ludwig's three castles are an astounding marriage of beauty and madness. (11 words)
• Avoid overusing noun forms of verbs.
– Wordy: The function of this department is the collection of accounts. (10 words)
– Concise: This department collects accounts. (4 words)
• Avoid circumlocutions in favor of direct expressions.
Wordy: At this/that point in time... (2/4 words)
Concise: Now/then... (1 word)
Wordy: In accordance with your request... (5 words)
Concise: As you requested... (3 words)
Expletive Constructions
• Avoid overusing expletives at the beginning of sentences (phrases of the form it + be-verb or there
+ be-verb).
– Wordy: It is the governor who signs or vetoes bills. (9 words)
– Concise: The governor signs or vetoes bills. (6 words)
– Wordy: There are four rules that should be observed: ... (8 words)
– Concise: Four rules should be observed:... (5 words)
Change Passive Verbs into Active Verbs
• Wordy: An account was opened by Mrs. Simms. (7 words)
• Concise: Mrs. Simms opened an account. (5 words)
• Wordy: Your figures were checked by the research department. (8 words)
• Concise: The research department checked your figures. (6 words)
• Eliminate unplanned repetition.
– Watch for phrases or longer passages which repeat words with similar meanings.
• Shorten clauses.
– The Titanic, which was a huge ocean liner, …
– The Titanic, a huge ocean liner, …
• Shorten phrases and cut words.
– Get rid of redundant words.
• Action verbs –strong
• Passive verbs –weak (be, have)
• Can you replace a phrase with a verb?
• Can you revise nouns into verbs?
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